et tu? October 24, 2008
Posted by notatumor in Uncategorized.trackback
Nice. My somewhat public blog (and the ensuing drama) that came about has a rejoinder in a status note:
‘is starting to thing gender stereotypes do not apply in the technical field’
Nice. She basically said something to that effect when we were having the drama – that I was being too….womanish. or something that implied that I was being the ‘woman’ in the relationship because I was bringing up things that I didn’t like rather than being stoic and not saying anything.
Yeah. whatever. At least I know how to be a friend to someone. The drama is because you *say* one thing, do another, and then wonder why someone gets upset when you’re not doing what you say.
Honestly, in a meta sort of way, it comes to this. You need to know the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. I think too many people associate with each other and thing that they’re friends, when really, deep down, they’re not. They’re just friendly acquaintances.
I talked to another friend about this – and then 5 minutes later he was there when she basically came over and tried to be all friendly and commenting on my facebook profile and making fun of my picture with glasses on fbook.
*that’s* what makes it hard. She does, in a strange way, *act* like a friend. It’s like she wants a friendship where she can joke, and make fun, and have fun at work, but without any of the obligations that true friendship entails. Not that they’re really obligations – sharing each others lives is should be easy and natural *if you want to do it*
Hmmm, my first shoutout to an old post in another blog:
http://hisstory1.blogspot.com/2007/06/friends-vs-acquaintances.html
Which I think says what I want to say. That and, I don’t need more acquaintances, thanks. You’re either in the circle of trust, or out. (thanks Meet the Fockers!). No fringe blurry types circles, thanks.
kthxbye
If she took time to know you, and your family, she would understand that you are just open with feelings. A very rare breed.
And you’re not helping me like this chick… not at all.
Not so sure I’m liking her that much myself, now
The good thing is that it’s almost over. I anticipate some residual stress when she figures out the difference between being my friend and not. I’ll be totally professional and nice to her at work, but the extra things I do for/with my friends she won’t be part of, which may or may not be a big deal to her, I don’t know.
I’m the ‘organizer’ – typically when a group of us go out and do something it’s because I’ve organized it. So…..who knows.
She wants me to be happy go lucky work friend with her, and that’s hard for me to resist, but I’m sure it will be easier over time. As it is, I feel like I’ve talked/chatted/worried about this too much. The bottom line is she doesn’t want to be my friend. Message received.
Life’s to short to waste your time on things that won’t work out.
(Advice: I’m full of it.)
And by to short, I MEANT TOO SHORT. I blame Georgie.